What Makes a Whale Dance?
Many years ago, a book called “Compliments Make Even Whales Dance (Original title: Whale Done by Ken Blanchard)” was a sensation in Korea. It probably goes without saying that the book highlighted the importance of compliments. I had not thought of this book in many years. Until recently, when a school teacher for some of our TaleTree kids shared with me the difference in the compliments kids are giving each other. I have watched kids grow on TaleTree but it was very reassuring to hear that the kids are truly transferring the skills they learn into their daily life. The ability to give authentic compliments is a true mark of empathy. A skill that today more than ever, is so important! I wanted to look a little closer at this topic of empathy and kind words. Perhaps a place to start looking is at what makes a whale dance?
Truth be told, I don’t know if whales actually dance. If they do, in fact, dance, it could very well be due to compliments. The reason I think this is so, is due to the social function of the mammalian nervous system. We humans also have this system. Recall a time someone gave you a friendly smile and a compliment, do you remember how that felt? Or, perhaps a time someone was angry and yelling, can you remember how that felt? The feelings we get from other people’s actions, words, and even just their presence are all mediated by our nervous system. The mammalian nervous system is part of what makes us humans, like whales, “social animals”.
This is not only fascinating but a wonderful reminder that we all have a system within us that plays a part in our ability to be empathetic.
This is how Kaden(age 10) views empathy
Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. When empathy gets talked about as a “skill”, we can be quick to measure and compare who has more or less. The truth is we all have a nervous system and by noticing what makes us feel good and bad, we can pick that up as we interact with others as well. It’s remarkable how many feelings we all share, how many things make all of us dance - like the whales. By noticing how we feel when we interact with others, we can build empathy.
Jaeah(age 10)’s interpretation of empathy
Kids on TaleTree can often be shy when they first join. They quickly pick up from other kids that they are in a safe environment, and that sharing compliments and feedback on their creative work, feels good! You can help your kids grow their empathy by encouraging them to notice and share how they feel. You can also have them join us every week on TaleTree.
